Ever feel like you—re just a background character in someone else—s internet? Like you opened your phone for a quiet scroll and suddenly you—re in the front row of a digital circus you never bought a ticket for? Welcome to the myth of the consensual internet. We all signed up, but nobody read the terms and conditions, which apparently include mandatory participation in every bizarre trend and algorithm-fueled frenzy.

This whole idea blew up from a Reddit thread where someone pointed out the quiet truth: we never actually agreed to this version of the internet. We agreed to cat videos and maybe connecting with old friends. We did not agree to have our brains rewired by endless short-form clips, to have our shopping habits predicted by a creepy digital ghost, or to be morally tested by a random potato salad debate at 2 AM. The internet just kind of— happened to us.

It—s funny because we all perform this little ritual. We download an app for one specific thing—like maybe to watch cake decorating tutorials. Fast forward two weeks, and the app is confidently showing you conspiracy theories about birds, a live stream of a parking lot in Latvia, and an argument about which cartoon character would win in a fight. You just wanted to see some buttercream, and now you—re invested in the geopolitical strategies of animated superheroes. You didn—t consent to this lore!

Then there—s the shared trauma of the forced timeline. Remember when you could just— see posts from your friends? Now your feed is a curated nightmare of strangers— wedding photos, a distant acquaintance—s political rant, and a video of a turtle eating a strawberry, all served to you by a machine that thinks it knows your soul because you once paused on a video about sneaker restoration. The algorithm is like a bad friend who only shows you things that will upset you, then wonders why you—re stressed.

So the next time you find yourself three hours deep into a video series about the history of concrete, just remember: you didn—t choose this life. The internet chose it for you. We—re all just living in its weird, non-consensual fanfiction, trying to find the cat videos we originally came for. The web is a party, and we—re all uninvited guests who can—t find the door.